The Girl who Lost Christmas

Before we go any further, I have a disclaimer to make: I am not, neither have I ever been associated with the Grinch. I am simply a girl who lost Christmas.

Christmas…yes CHRISTmas not Xmas ( I am quite anal about this)…was a magical time for me growing up. I loved everything about it….from the road-trips to Mombasa, to getting dolled up for Christmas lunches to Father Christmas ( lol…am I revealing my age by not referring to him as Santa 😐)…Christmas was lit!

I remember going to the country club waiting for Father Christmas to drive down the fairway in his golf cart ready to hand over prezzies to us kiddies. It was just an amazing time. I actually still have my childhood Christmas stocking!

The Christmas spirit…I could feel it in the brightly lit buildings, in the over the top Christmas outfits and most of all in family…not in my extended family, but in my nuclear family…my father, my mother, my sisters and I. Later on in life , I realized Christmas was Christmas to me because it was a magical time spent with my family.
But something happened, at the age of 10, my parents separated…and Christmas changed. It now became Mombasa with one parent and Christmas day with the other parent. No more Father Christmas in his golf cart, no more Christmas crackers, no more Christmas stockings…no more…no more…no more… The magic ceased and reality took over!

The thing about reality is that if you let it, it can kill your faith. Reality of a family break up killed Christmas, and since we are oversharing ( lol )I might as well admit that it also killed birthdays and all things innocent and magical for me. I simply lost it all.

“Merry Christmas!” I still wish it for others. I do not believe that my loss of it should mean my robbing it from others. But when wished to me, it does not hold any meaning. Now before you pick up your stones and throw them at me, let me make it clear…I am still a believer in Christ.I am simply a christian who lost Christmas, but who in the process found Christ.

I found Christ in the brokenness of my family, I found Christ in the tears I shed,  I found Christ in the cracks of my heart and in the trenches of  life, I found Christ in the loss of the magic and in the birth of hope …I found Christ! And in finding Christ, I found healing, restoration, laughter, life and me!

So while I am not dreaming of a white Christmas or jingling bells all the way or waiting for Santa Claus to come to town…I am still grateful for this season. I am grateful for the birth of Christ and for the journey I have experienced with Him by my side.

And it is out of that gratitude that I genuinely wish you a Merry Christmas!