Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.
Trust and obey…simple enough…right..?
Maybe for some people, but not for me. I have been struggling specifically with the ‘trust’ bit, which automatically makes the obedience part difficult to do.
Let me explain myself. I was one of those people who RAN into action as soon as I believed God had spoken. I was Miss Instant Obedience. The only issue with this was that often times, God had not spoken…I only thought He had. Yes, I was that person who believed every prophecy and ‘word’ that people gave me. And because I did not discern His voice…I ended up in MESSES!
[…] and his sheep follow him because they know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger’s voice.
John 10:4-5
I was that sheep that was running to the stranger’s voice. As a result, I reaped the fruits of the stranger:
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy[…]
John 10:10
And because of this, I became very anti-prophecy. I did NOT want to hear any ‘God is saying’ messages. In fact my heart grew so cold towards prophecies, it literally locked itself up. Now, I know this is an extreme response, but if you have been hurt like I was, you would understand my response.
I however learned that my problem was not the people who gave me wrong messages. I was the problem. Why? Because I did not know my Shepherd’s voice. This was not easy for me to accept…it was easier to blame others. So, I started to desire to KNOW His voice and so I increased my time in the Word…which was not easy for me. And with time I am slowly learning to hear Him through His Word and I am also learning to filter the ‘prophetic’ messages through the Word, which is proving to be helpful.
When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word,
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still,
And with all who will trust and obey.
Have you ever been so hurt that you do not trust the good you see before you? Have you ever been in such darkness that you do not see the light that surrounds you? Have you been disappointed over and over again that you no longer have hope? And if you do not have hope, what then do you have?
That is where I have been most of this year. So afraid to trust God, because I do not want another punch to my stomach. So afraid to walk in the little light I see that sometimes it is easier not to walk at all. And when you are in such a state, obedience is not even an option.
I remember so many nights where I have prayed to wake up on the other side of eternity, only to still find myself here 😂 I have spent so many days in bed, reluctant to face another day, afraid of even more hopelesness. And the worst part of it all was that God kept on using me! Which showed me that there was still more He had for me to do…but how could I trust Him? How could I trust Him whose voice I was uncertain of?
All I know is that I have gotten to a place where I am sick and tired of being held hostage by fear and disappointment. And for today, I choose to trust Him. I choose to stop looking at me, my past, my inadequacies, my disappointments, my losses and look to Him. I choose to walk in the light, no matter how faint it may seem, and see where it leads me. And where it stops, I shall stop. Where it continues, I shall continue. I do not know about tomorrow, but today, this is what I choose.
Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet,
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way;
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.